Different Types of Fan
I have been to almost 500 matches and seen football from all different levels. I’ve been to Champions League and Premier League matches as well as games in the lower echelons of the non-league pyramid.
In that time, I’ve noticed that there are many different type of fan. Here is a list of a few that you will see in and around football stadiums across the country:
The Season Ticket Borrower
You will often see these fans when your side is playing against the smaller teams during the season. The season-ticket holder might not be able to go or is being kind and lending their ticket to a family member or friend. My Great-Uncle would lend me and my Dad his season ticket at Arsenal for a couple of games a season. Dad and I would get an initial look-down from the regulars who sat in the nearby seats as they didn’t recognise us.
If ‘The Season Ticket borrower’ is a child, they will have a wide-eyed look of amazement and wonder. Everything you take for granted as a regular is the most incredible thing for them.
Most likely to say: “I can’t find my seat!”
Will never say: “I’ll see you next week, chaps!”
The Tourist
This type of supporter is always seen at Premier League grounds and are the bug-bear of all regular fans. They usually have a half-and-half scarf bought from a vendor outside the ground and will be carrying bags of shopping from the club shop. The more annoying of these particular fans will film most of the game on their phones and stand in everyone’s way whilst taking their photo with a selfie-stick!
Most likely to say: “Could you hold my bag please, I need to take a photo”
Will never say: “I’m all in favour of man-to-man marking. Zonal marking just won’t cut it against a team like this”
The Father and Child
This is the most heart-warming of all types of fans. The sight of a young child looking around in amazement and watching their heroes ‘in the flesh’ is a joy to behold.
There are two types of Dad and Child fans. There is the Dad with his child who wants to be there, taking everything in and loving being there and there is the Dad with the child who would rather be anywhere else.
The first category will have the child staring intently at the game, taking everything in and talking with their Dad. The second type of child will be constantly be nagging their Dad, pulling at his coat, trying to get attention. They might also be sitting and playing on their phone, paying no attention to the game in front of them.
As a child, I always wanted to be at a game, rain or shine. However, I am guilty of being the father who has taken their child to a game who really doesn’t want to be there. I have tried numerous times to get my daughter to become interested in football, but with no luck. I promised sweets and chocolate during the game but she won’t budge! I paid for her and her baby sister to be mascots in a Cup game and it poured with rain all day! All of our photos show them shivering and drenched on the pitch, cutting a cold, wet and sad figure!
The Eternal Optimist
It’s good to have someone nearby who tries to see the proverbial glass half-full. On the other hand, it can also be incredibly irritating! Your side could be 6-0 down and not bothered the opponents’ goalkeeper once all game and still the ‘Eternal Optimist’ will see something good about the game. As a fan who is very much a ‘Doom and Gloomer’, hearing someone in the vicinity saying “It could be worse, it could be 9-0” just winds me up even more.
Most likely to say: “It’s alright, we’re gonna win this!”
Will never say: “We’ve lost this. I’m going to leave early”
The Doom and Gloomer
The complete opposite of ‘The Eternal Optimist’. This type of fan thinks that the team is destined to fail and will preach to everyone and anyone who will listen that defeat or relegation will soon follow. Your team could be beating your biggest rivals 4-0 and playing some wonderful passes between themselves but it won’t be enough for the Doom and Gloomer. Classic lines such as “We should be seven up at least” and “We might be winning 4-0 but we should have taken that chance in the first-half” are grumbled, bringing down the mood of those nearby.
The ‘Doom and Gloomer’ may also start to claim that their team are going to mess up a huge lead at the top of the table and take some morbid pleasure out of telling you when they are proved right. They can be seen jabbing their finger in the direction of anyone unfortunate enough to have listened to them, gleefully saying “See! I told you we’d mess it up!” If they are in the seats, they will slide down to the edge of their seat, fold their arms and have a smug grin plastered across their face.
The Fanatic
This type of fan has been to every game home and away several years and if they haven’t, they can tell you on one hand which games they have missed. Usually they will have a story of how they got to a game against all odds or an exaggerated reason why they missed a game.
The Fanatic will think nothing of missing a wedding, funeral, christening or birth of their own child if it means they get to see a match.
This type of fan is usually in one of two age groups. The youngest of the fanatics are likely to have just finished school and be in their first full-time job, hence why they can get to all the games. They are young and have plenty of disposable income, with no children or bills to pay.
The second, older fanatic is retired and has nothing to do so now has time to go to more matches. The away game 250 miles away on a Tuesday night that once was dodged because of “work commitments” or “family thing” is now too enticing to miss.
Most likely to say: “Remember Grimsby at home couple of years back? You know, we lost 3-1? I split my head open on the morning of the game, I still got to the game though. Discharged myself from hospital and still get to the ground half an hour before kick-off”.
Will never say: “I don’t fancy the home game this weekend, I might see the family”
The Scrapper
Ah yes, the scrapper. The gobby kid who has most likely got previous for anti-social behaviour or the grown adult to just about remember football violence in the 80’s. The Scrapper is always the first to jump up, arms stretched and yelling “If you all hate <insert rival’s name>, clap your hands”.
He will most probably turn up a few minutes into the game as the police have considered nicking him but then not bothered with the paperwork. The Scrapper is also likely to come over and talk to you just because you’re wearing his club’s colours. Just nod, be polite and he will eventually leave you alone! He won’t remember you at the next game and if he does, you will only get a brief “orriyt mayte”.
Most likely to say: “You should have seen it down the road earlier. It was kicking off all round town mate!”
Will never say: “I’ve always had a soft spot for our rivals. The fans chant about their hatred but I for one cheer them on…when we aren’t playing them, of course!”
The Anorak
Much laughed at but the first person you turn to if you need them for the pub quiz machine! The Anorak knows all of the stats, facts and trivia about your club and has all sorts of memorabilia. They can often be seen writing notes on their programme, taking particular interest to attendances and substitutions being announced. Anything that they might mishear being announced will cause them to frantically ask those around about the detail.
There are also other versions of The Anorak that will place their programme in a clear plastic wallet and carefully place it into a bag where it will be safe from creasing or rain. You would never see this sort o Anorak writing on their programme!
Most likely to say: “Actually, I think you’ll find it was the 17th October 1955”
Never going to say: “Who’s their number 9?”
The Drunk
The Drunk will turn up to the game drunk and more than likely be late getting into the ground. This is usually because they are so drunk that their mates have given up on him and left him in the pub!
I was at an away game at Halifax once in late November and I saw a drunk fan standing on the terraces, leaning against the crush barrier and sleeping!
This type of fan will stumble about a fair bit and slur along to the chants. He might also try and have a pop at opposing fans at the final whistle, so keep your distance!
Most likely to say: “Sod it, let’s go for a pint”
Least likely to say: “I’ve had my fill gents. Let’s all just sit and watch the football”
The Silent Fan
This type of fan is the most unnerving. They sit in complete silence watching the game and won’t celebrate or moan. They just sit or stand there, fixated on the game.
You can go several matches or seasons without hearing their voice and many of the regulars who sit or stand around him won’t even know his name!
Most likely to say: Nothing!
Least likely to say: Anything!
The Shouter
This type of fan will get on everyone’s nerves. Anything and everything requires The Shouter to scream out and deafen those around him.
He will berate the linesman unfortunate enough to be running the line nearest him and will also hurl abuse at the referee.
The Shouter will also be negative about his own team. In his eyes, the defence will be useless, the striker is a donkey and the goalkeeper couldn’t catch a cold. Every substitution requires his vocal input and you pray that he doesn’t turn up at games. Then he turns up a few minutes before kick off and you slouch back in quiet resignation that another 90 minutes of ear-bashing awaits.
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